Evolving in Real Time

Wowzers, it’s been a little over a month since I have graced this page with my presence. I’m a little disappointed about that, but here I am, and I’m here to stay. As I’ve mentioned in my past blogs, consistency and me, we had our struggles. But this year… We are overcoming them all.

It’s plenty on my plate to shuffle through, and that’s not an excuse—it’s reality. But everything I’m working on needs my attention, and that’s where the balancing act trips me up. Maybe I need solid routines, better time management, procedures and regulations. LoI! I mean at this point I need to run my life like a full-blown business. Because the dreams I have are “Grande”. I certainly need provisions in place to effectively reach them. I refuse to continue to play small when I know they’re attainable. I feel it in my soul.

Lately, I’ve been locked in with my fitness journey. Committed. And in between working more hours, tending to all 800 of my animals, trying to keep my house from looking (or smelling) like an actual zoo, and just handling life—aka making sure I’m groomed enough to be seen in public—I let this blog, along with a few other obligations, slide to the back burner. However, each of them crosses my mind often. I’m marking them off my tasks list one by one. I went back and reread my old entries, and all I can say is DAMN. They are all so multifaceted and impactful, if I do say so myself. They represent exactly what “paradoxical labyrinth” is all about, and I know there’s even better waiting in my think tank.

When I first started this blog, I wanted to be this mystery, this unknown voice that people stumbled across when the alignment was right. Butttt… I realized I’m the shit, and that needs to be witnessed. Directed back to me—the creator. No more waiting for the universe to drop eyes on my work when I know it deserves to be seen.

And while I’m being honest, I’ve spent too much time filling up pages with sadness, pain, and all the ways people including myself have disappointed me. Even though those feelings were real, I don’t document the good enough. When the good shit happens, the pen is down and I’m just living it—but nah. That stops now. I need to shout it, because this season of my life… It deserves to be remembered.

I’ve made many mistakes, and I can admit that most of the pain I’ve felt in the past, I invited it in. I was the one screwing myself over. But moving forward, if pain comes, let it be life’s natural blows—not my own poor decisions. Because now? Every decision I’m making is shifting my life upward. I’m showing up for me. That’s something I never used to do, and it feels fucking ahmazing!!!

I’ve been talking about transitions since about 2022. Feeling like I was stuck between two different people, places, and time but the distance between those versions is action. I can manifest and pray all day but what am I doing to achieve my desires?

For years, I let my low self-esteem eat me up. My weight, my body—it held me back, kept me in a cycle of self-hate and depressive thoughts. On top of attracting all the lowest of low energies and circumstances. But now that I’m working on it consistently, I know that same discipline will pour over into the rest of my life. The confidence I’ve been waiting on… It’s finally brewing. I’m ready to step into the work I’ve been putting in.

I’m ready to pop out.

A new body. A new mind. A new life. And let’s be real—a new bag, too. Money. Well-spoken. Writing and performing my poetry. The list can go on and on. Expanding in ways I’ve only dreamed of.

So, consider this you’re warning. Stay on high alert, because what’s coming next? I promise you—you don’t wanna miss it.

Love always- F.R.

Fierce Rebel.. that is! 😘