Knowing that I’m destined for greatness I question the disappointments I cause myself.
Mistakes are beyond normal and without failure how could I value my success?
I know my struggles are indeed for a reason and every mishap planned by the universe
Some lessons I surely feel were a waste of learning and I walk on shells to stay off that course.
But somehow I find myself digging the same holes because I find comfort in that space
I pray on a daily then fall off the wagon Lord knows I don’t need to stay in that place
Funny thing is I search for all these outside extremities to save me.
I’ve noticed when I’m drowning no one even sees me, so how can they help me.
I’m the water, harsh waves, the boat, paddle, and the life jacket
I look to other’s for justification but I already know what I got
Letting society make me feel as if I’ve failed as a woman because I lack a relationship, sometimes don’t want to comb my hair, lay my edges and fix my brows.
I want to shine from the inside out but I just don’t know how
This year coming up I promise myself it’s the year of greatness
This is going to be the most connected year I’ve had since I was born where I search every crevice and corner of my soul for my beings
Where they are hiding we’ll all be free
No more silence, no more choosing when to appear, which one is good for the moment and which one is on punishment
We will all flourish together and bring back the original version of myself
I’ve been away so long maaaaannnnn, I don’t even know who I’m staring at, have talks in my head and don’t even know who’s talking back!
And that’s sad…. I look around and think to myself is everybody going through this shit, I know I’m not crazy!
You can be all wrapped in perfection and be pieces of tidbits of pity
I don’t want to be perfect I just want to find the joy in me
I want to see the beauty in me at all times
When I’m naked, clothed, painting, playing the guitar, fucking, or conversing
I want to be the best poem ever written and read the best literature on the shelf
Not because it overshadowed someone else but because it has a seperate section, lying on a lonely shelf but attracting people whom know the value.