Cultivating the Garden of Self-Love

Halfway into this awesome first month of this new year, here I am—the person on the brink of finally conquering this level of self-love and internal growth—took a turn down sabotage alley. (Cue the internal scream as I drop my head into my hands.) Did I manifest this with my first-of-the-year blog entry? Maybe. But thankfully, I didn’t wander too far down that road to be overconsumed by the shadows waiting there. I’m not upset with myself—just a little disappointed that there’s still more work to be done. But isn’t that always the case? Growth is a constant journey, not a final destination. Yet, I’m mindful not to let that truth become a crutch used to support conscious bad decisions.

I’ve come to see myself as a garden. Within me lies a world of color, scents, and variety—flowers, herbs, vegetables, and fruits—each waiting to nourish whoever stumbles upon them, including myself. Every season brings new challenges and demands different care to ensure the garden thrives. But alongside this splendid place I’ve cultivated, there are always threats: pests, weeds, unpredictable weather, and even my own approach to tending the soil. Overwatering, underwatering, forgetting to prune, or neglecting the garden altogether can lead to chaos. Yet, there’s a lesson in every misstep.

Working on myself once felt like an exhausting and endless chore, something I had to push through out of obligation. But over time, it has transformed into a beautiful adventure—a journey of discovery, growth, and transformation. Each new attribute I want to bring forth for the next version of me is a seed I’ve planted. These seeds are sprouting now. Some of them have started to bud, while others are still dormant. And, yes, sometimes my garden becomes overrun with weeds that threaten to choke the life out of the plants I’ve worked so hard to grow. If I don’t take the time to pull these weeds and grab them at the root, they can damage or even swallow the growth entirely. Even in these moments, I have to remind myself: there is always more where that came from.

I’ve walked away countless times in the past because it always felt too massive to fight through what I told myself was nature’s world to control but I began to navigate these feelings differently. Each issue that arises teaches me something new. I’ve learned how to be more attentive and aware of what each plant needs. When I look at my current garden, I want to view it with bliss and gratitude. Every single thing here was once just a seed I planted from nothing. Now, some plants are budding, others are thriving and bearing healthy fruits, and some are dying off. There are even a few I’ve transformed into medicine, using what’s grown to heal myself and others.

Some parts of the garden will die and be reborn stronger in the next season, while others will fade away for good. And that’s okay. It’s part of the ebb and flow. My role as the gardener is to understand when to let go and when to replant, to recognize what’s seasonal and what’s perennial. It’s my care, knowledge, and intention that shape the harvest, and I promise to never turn my back on my garden again. No matter how overwhelming the work may seem, the beauty that comes from tending to it is always worth it.

Here’s to embracing the dirt under my nails and celebrating every part of the process—the blooms, the thorns, and even the weeds. This is my promise as a gardener, not just of plants but of self-love and growth.

Sincerely, FR

xoxox