It’s the fourth day of 2025, and already it feels like this year is set to rocket by faster than 2024. I’m approaching this year with optimism, holding my hopes high as I set my goals and prepare to check them off one by one. At this moment, I’m genuinely excited about what the year might bring, and I pray that the fire fueling my motivation and aspirations doesn’t burn out.
But I’ve been here before—plenty of times. I thought about making a new vision board, but my last two are still hanging around, filled with photos and quotes that continue to demand my attention. As I sit here at my full-time job, a role that’s already spilling into my weekends for the sake of extra money, I can’t ignore the tug-of-war within me. My heart-driven purposes feel perpetually sidelined.
This is my constant dilemma: toggling between my dreams and my reality. It’s like two worlds are colliding—one filled with responsibilities and boxes to check for sanity’s sake, and the other brimming with the kind of purpose I want to wake up for every day. I stand in the middle, a scale trying to balance it all but forever feeling like I’m tilting. Yet, there’s one truth I’m holding onto: when I show up for myself, by myself, as my most authentic self, I feel whole. It’s in those moments that love and support seem to rise from within, reminding me of the higher being guiding me.
Settling for the crumbs of my circumstances makes me feel lost, like a stranger to my own purpose. The more I cling to the maps that lead to a life designed by others, the farther away I feel from the person I truly am. And yet, here I am, still striving.
Success is all I want, but its meaning shifts depending on which version of me takes the wheel. Right now, I feel calm, organized in my thoughts, and ready for the battles ahead—the ones meant to test my determination. Fear still lurks, whispering that self-sabotage is waiting in the shadows, ready to pounce and undo all I’ve built. But even as that fear rises, I remind myself: I’ve made it this far.
I’m learning that slipping up isn’t failure; it’s a pause, a chance to recalibrate. Each setback is a reminder to reconnect with myself, to strengthen the signal of my soul’s WiFi. Sure, the thought of messing up again makes my body tense (literally, my butt cheeks clinch—LOL!), but that’s okay. I’m human.
What matters is this: I’m still here. I’m still fighting for a life that feels true to me. I know the path won’t always be smooth, but I believe that one good step—followed by another and another—will lead me to the place where my worlds can coexist. And when they do, I’ll look back and thank the me sitting here today, refusing to give up.
Cheers to 2025!!!
Sincerely F.R.